Honestly, this is a horrible title. The surgery was a success because my doctor removed all traces of my miscarriage without any complications or signs of out-of-control infection.
And that’s great but our hearts are broken today. Maybe in a couple of days we can look forward to the hope of having a full term baby, but today, we are just devastated.
And that’s okay. Nobody said we have to rush the grieving. At 9 weeks, we could have heard a heartbeat. There would have been a soul. And we won’t ever hear that heartbeat or hold that soul in our arms. So today. And tomorrow. And however long we need to grieve, we are just sad.
This morning, we got there in time to get all my bands on and the IV started. I knew from a surgery a few years ago, that the surgical center has this magical thing called “warming blankets”. I straight up asked for those before the intern started the IV. Then he spent the next 10 minutes trying to flatter me and distract me by pretending to be in shock over my age and that I have been teaching longer than “two or three years AT MOST!”. I guess those anti-wrinkle creams are working!
Isn’t this lovely? I think Frankie was glad to have me back home. He’s been sticking close to me lately, and that is unusual in this heat. He’s a good buddy to have around.
We both gave clear instructions to NOT offer me any food or drink until I get back to my room. I had my own gluten-free food. Our fear was that I would take anything offered to me while still under the effects of anesthesia. The surgical center team at Northport DCH was outstanding. It was a much better experience than I was expecting. After some Sprite and a nap (I had to be able to pee before I could leave), I was released and Stephen took me to City Cafe for lunch. I was HUNGRY and needed some comfort food. City Cafe’ is a landmark in our town. And this close to kickoff, the place was PACKED with people arriving for tailgating and RV vacationing a week early.
Baked chicken, sweet potatoes, green beans, mashed potatoes. I ate every bite!
The rest of the day was just dozing and some crying and some more sleeping. Rest is needed to prevent further infection and for once, I’m going to take it easy on myself. No going full-throttle balls-to-the-wall for a couple of days.