Sandra Lee Scary-scapes….I’ve been quiet long enough

SANDRA LEE????? Come on! STOP with the SCARY-SCAPES!! Put down the “cocktail” with 1 part fruit juice and 895 parts vodka/gin/schnapps/liquid butane. What has happened to you over the years?? You used to be fun! You were once a little flaky but with a certain smidge of adorable-ness. But for the past few years, I’ve managed to catch a show or two. And wow. Just wow.

Remember this “broccoli pie”??  It’s a pan of raw broccoli and cherry nipples with a nasty mayonnaise crisscross pattern to resemble an apple pie. What in the world????????

 

Today, I watched in horror. This lady is out of control. Someone take the bottle away from her because she’s got her tongue stuck in it trying to suck out the last drop of airplane fuel.

Today’s show was “something scary” as described by Food Network. You got that right. Small children will need therapy after the Xanex kicks in. This lady has feathers floating in her “cocktail” and beads swirling in her fake cheesecake. “Warmed up in my fairy microwave”.

Check out the costumes.

Supposedly Queen Elizabeth…or Little Orphan Annie all grown up and skanky-fied.

Supposed to be a Robin Hood era fighter. . . but that look says “I’ve just tumbled with the stable boy and now i’m going to force him to eat my craptastic food BEFORE he gets a mind-numbing drink”

Supposed to be some fairy maiden. . . I need a moment to collect myself before I comment further.

HOLY EXPLODING SWANS!!! She’s got toilet paper everywhere! in the trees, in her hair, holding up the massive girls..and WHAT IS THAT IN HER DRINK??? This is beyond scary.

Supposed to be Cher…with ripped sheets hanging from the trees and some freaky chandelier thing that will probably suck my soul out of my eyes if I look at it. DON’t LOOK!!!  Yes that is a gallon jug. With vodka in it.

Aunt Sandy has been hitting the Wiccan Dollar Tree after cocktail time.