And it concerns a number.
For most of my adult life after college, I’ve focused so much on a number. I let it bother me, uplift me, control me, enslave me. A great morning could turn real ugly just by a flashing digital number. A random Biggest Loser contestant’s weigh-in could leave me in tears…”I’m bigger than she is and she’s on Biggest Loser!!!!” Did I notice that it was the final two weeks and this girl was at her goal weight..her healthy weight..her strong weight?? Nope..just saw the number.
And I have to admit, I’m about tired of that number.
And lately, I’ve learned an important lesson.
That number can only control me to the extent that I let it.
Most mornings for the past 4 months, Ive been too busy to check that stupid number. I’m up early and going to CrossFit, which is responsible for a LOT of my thinking regarding weight vs. fitness. I can do things now that I never dreamed possible. Who knew I could lift so much weight? Or run so much faster so soon? Each week as I got stronger, the less that number mattered. Yes, I’ve been slowly..slowly dropping weight. Very slowly..like ounces a week. I’ve also ramped up my trail running while training for some summer races. I’ve learned what works for an intense weight workout and works better for a long sustained trail run and what works for a rest day.
I’ve learned salt can be a nasty thing.
And sugar can be a killer.
And I’m not controlled or defined by a number.
I’m more peaceful at 160-something than I ever was at 130-something. I feel like my body is more beautiful now than ever. I’m still going to keep shifting carbs around and try to balance food with workouts to keep dropping a few more pounds. Simply put, less weight=less strain on my knees and everything I do, I do to make myself a better runner. I only started crossfit to help make my leg better for running. So yes, I would like to keep losing.
But it really hit me this week…I’m no longer a slave to the number.
And that’s a pretty good feeling.
Dinner was a big shot of protein!
I had the half with turkey. The other half has stuff that I don’t like, but Stephen does.
Now it’s off to sleep so I can get up and get moving…..right past the scale. I know by 6:30am, I’m going to feel absolutely worn out, no more strength, and utterly fantastic.