I hate blah days. I would rather have really good or really not-so-good days. Or even days when I feel happy with just being alive. But days when I feel blah or pasting that half smile people assume is a sarcastic smirk..I don’t like them. I call them quicksand days. Days when I feel stuck. Not really happy or contented (since I think contentedness and joy are more permanent states of mind than whimsical happiness) but no reason to be down, except…I am.
I’ve been fighting off a sinus infection. I’m struggling with my long runs on the weekends the past two weekends…and my shorter training runs during the week. I’m doubting my abilities to finish this marathon. I’m normally ecstatic during the first few weeks of fall, so I’m placing all the blame on feeling like crud.
But part of the blame falls flat on me. When I don’t make good decisions regarding my heath and running, when I just let the tiredness take over, when I start feeling sorry for myself for not looking like a supermodel in running shoes, then the vicious cycle starts all over. I don’t feel good about myself, so I’m not good TO myself. I stress eat. Or comfort eat. When I don’t do everything right, then I do nothing right. I do not know what part of my brain got hot-wired this way, but it drags me down like nothing else.
So, after some time well spent with my favorite magazine in a deep tub with lots of bubbles guaranteed to soak out the soreness from a lengthy CrossFit workout…
And a good dinner of roast and vegetables….(no pic..I didn’t feel like taking one),
I’m ready to face a new day.
After all, we are one decision away from greatness.