So much has been flying around the news world since the capture of Suspect 2 almost a week ago and I have had to turn off the news, block the news tweets, and just be quiet in my zone for a while. I still do not care to hear about the suspect or his family, his rights, his comments, his condition, his reasons, etc. But what is even worse is all blaming going on at other people. I don’t care to hear all that. I want to just run away, me and my shoes and roads and trails and peaceful views. That is why running is so important to me.
Running is in my bones. I just don’t feel right if I’m not running. After a few years, when I’m sick or dealing with long term injury, NOT running messes with my head. I get anxious and restless and I feel like I’m missing something. And I am. I’m missing time with just me and my feet. Running is there for me anytime I’m ready to lace some shoes.
Running is my way to really push myself past limits that my head says I can’t overcome. Running proves my mind wrong ALL THE TIME. Through my many days on the road or trails, I’ve had the highest of highs and the lowest inch of the bottomless pit. I’ve struggled for half a mile or floated on air for 20. I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum and I kept running. I ran past the doubts, the fear, more doubts, and more fear. Just when my mind says “I’m done!”, my feet remind me that I’ve got a little more in me. Running does that. Finishing my marathon is without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done. And the most rewarding. That’s what running does to me.
Running is how I learned to love me. I’ve had more good cop/bad cop conversations with myself during races, during long hours of solitude, and busy 5pm park trails. You never really get down to the places we don’t like to talk about until you strip away the crap surrounding it. Running does that. When you least expect it, you find yourself staring at your own soul and I learned to love what I saw. All of it. The good and the not so good. I learned that I’m worthy of acceptance and I’m worthy of love.
When people ask me why I run, I can’t explain it. I get tongue tied and sometimes, when I really need to run for a while, I get emotional just trying to explain. So my newest answer is
I run for me. I run for my life. I run because I can.
