I try to keep my kid stories to a minimum…but this has to be told. It would be a crime to let this one stay in my head. I feel it’s my duty to share with the world the mind of a precocious 5 year old. You can thank me later.
In class, the kids were talking about the one thing they wanted to write to Santa about. I teach in a Title I school which has a high poverty rate, high non-English speaking population, and low socio-economic status. I love it. The kids need me and I see such amazing progress as the year progesses. They come in knowing maybe 2-3 letters and leave reading on mid-first grade level. They work so hard during our 10 months together and it pays off.
But this day…they just made me laugh. I’m posting my email that I shared with my talented and hilarious co-workers.
Kids letters to Santa are now posted!!! This year’s commercialistic and egocentric literary compositions didn’t fail to delight the viewers with a variety of requests. Among the usual pleas for computers, wii(s), and policemen with big sticks and a hat, there are a few surprises.
I’m not sure what will fill the need for "ho wheels", but I bet that Santa can find it! (I gently reminded him that “hot” has 3 letters and to listen hard for that last sound..H-O-T wheels)
One precious angel wanted a Unicorn. I was surrounded by peaceful beams of delight at her imagination and mystical curiosity. I asked her (I know..I should NEVER ask…) why she chose such an original idea. She said.."Because my mom said I can get a wii when unicorns fly out her butt".
And the dear one who asked for a motorcycle. While I was so pleased he didn’t ask for a "Redhead’s Guide to Guerilla Warfare", I was not surprised. He did elaborate more. " I want a motorcycle so I can go mud ridin’. I love mud. I want to ride in it and fall in it and turn all kinds of flips! Mud is cool. I like mud. Do you like mud? Can I come to your house and play in the mud? Do you have mud? I love mud." I’m going to give this mother a real treat when I call her and tell her to forget the motorcycle, just wrap up plastic bags of mud and she’s all set.
And last, but certainly not least..The delightful innocence of 5 year old girls is never complete without a Barbie Doll. Her ideas are very interesting..and not too far away from my days of playing with plastic dolls with measurement standards no mortal woman can achieve. ..thanks a lot Barbie. I waited 12 years to grow up like you and all I got was training bra with stupid pink flowers and nothing to fill it out. It’s all your fault!!! Anyway, I digress. This child said "I like to take her clothes off and cut off her hair. Then I go play with dinosaurs". This child is so very close to my heart.